I know the human being and the fish can coexist peacefully

In an old SNL comedy skit, Chevy Chase and Richard Pryor faced one another and traded off racial epithets. Chase called Pryor a "porch monkey." Pryor responded with "honky." Chase upped the ante with "jungle bunny." Pryor, unable to counter with a more vicious slur against whites, responded with "honky, honky." Chase then trumped all previous slurs with "nigger," to which Pryor responds: "dead honky."

Funny stuff, but it shows us that when a group of people has little or no power over you institutionally, they don't get to define the terms of your existence, they can't limit your opportunities, and you needn't worry much about the use of a slur to describe you and yours, since, in all likelihood, the slur is as far as it's going to go. They aren't going to deny you a job, or a car loan, or your disability check, or...

Hopefully this explains a little why this is a big deal to some but not to others. And sorry, I didn't mean to beat a dead horse.

This was part of my reply on an earlier post, but I thought it bore repeating. Maybe it doesn't.